I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
