Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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