i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
