So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
