she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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