i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We are two peas in an std pod
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
