Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
