I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
