I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
