went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
