We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
