Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she smelled like a LAN party
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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