didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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