he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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