She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
