4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
honey bunches of taint.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
