i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
