please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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