Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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