You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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