Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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