I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
