my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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