too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
