at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
