believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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