I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
