The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
