i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
