So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
