everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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