I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
