You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
