There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
