He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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