I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
