so that wasnt chicken after all
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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