I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
