im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
