her vagine was all disorganized.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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