You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just pynch a tree in the face
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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