Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
