You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
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Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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