Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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