White coat. Heels.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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