then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
