I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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