Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
