We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize