R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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