just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You smell like stripper and shame
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
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