Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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