You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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