if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
