someone get that fucking seahorse.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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