i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
