glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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