stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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