im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
