does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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