after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
