i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
