I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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