Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
