She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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