he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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